Perhaps I made a mistake by taking the time to look at my parent's and replacement mommy's facebook pages. I found myself feeling a rush of negative emotion over the statuses of love and lovers and family and how happy they are. It makes me wish to empty the contents of my lunch onto my living room floor. I find it utterly disgusting. Just think, that feeling is only over statuses on facebook. You do not want to know what watching them kiss and touchy feely with their new loves makes me feel.
I suppose I understand the "why" factor to some extents. They were not happy with each other, that much is clearly obvious. I guess I don't understand how they can so easily walk away from God and live with their replacements for each other in a sinful manner. Even at the sacrifice of the relationship with their children?
I just wish I could grasp the concept. Perhaps the understanding is still inside me somewhere residual of when I was living in sin... but if it is it must be buried deeeeeeep down inside.
Sorry I am having a particularly hard moment and I do not feel as though I am dealing with it very well. I still do not understand why at age nearly 30 this entire ordeal effects me as it does. I feel week and like a five year old.
Thae
Nearing 30 I find myself experiencing life to an extent I never thought possible. Over the past 5 years my life has been turned upside down and vigorously shaken. I wish to share my life not to moan and groan about things gone wrong but to show others in hard times that all is not lost and you are not alone.
I can not relate because I have never been in your situation, but when I imagine what it would be like, I am heart broken and I would react the same way. There is a lot of talk about long term marriages ending because of Al Gore's divorce and it is still just as detrimental to families even if the kids are grown. It is normal to feel like you do I and I would encourage you to keep writing as a way to release your feelings, you definitely can't keep them bottled up and even talk if you need to. I am available if you ever want to.
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