Alarms, Replacements and Huh?

  I wish I knew how to begin this post.  This outing to my sisters birthday, which was supposed to be less than a 10 minute visit turned into an hour and a half  event that was beyond draining.  I was thankful  to find a couple friends  there, it helped some to keep my sanity.  I found it hard to deal with that everything is so different.  Family events just aren't the same. They do not even feel like family events. How can it when my father is not even there? He was a key part to the "family".  Now it is like he never existed. We even have a replacement daddy to be there in my father's place.  I do not understand how things can change so quickly and be "ok". Not that I would actually call it ok, but that is  how everyone else seems to percieve it.  It makes me question everything I believe.
   There was one point today when I knew that I had nothing to question.  I had been outside talking to my husband on the phone and daddy replacement came out to "check something" but I knew as soon as I saw him come out the door that he was going to corner me into conversation. I finished talking to my husband and started for the door when daddy replacement put himself between the door and I. He said he wanted to talk to me about something. He burst into tears and asked if he was the reason we (my husband and I) did not want to come over any more.
 In that moment I felt a whole torrent of emotions.  Ranging from anger to compassion.  On the one hand I felt bad for him I can imagine that it would be hard to take on the role of replacement daddy, wanting to be accepted and knowing that the woman's oldest daughter did not approve in anyway shape or form  of the relationship between her mother and himself. On the other hand I felt enraged that he would be so concieted to think that it was all about him. Also because he felt it his place to try to talk to me for my mom. 
  Although there were a few things I learned about daddy replacement while I was in conversation with him.   After he cried I told him that he was
       "not the problem. The problem is that neither of my parents are repentant about the divorce and neither of them have taken the time to heal before jumping into another relationship.
(He asked me who should be the one to determine when and how one is properly healed from said situation. I honestly  responded by saying
   "I don't know.  I do know that neither of them are repentant about it having happend.  I understand that thirty years is a very long time to deal with the problems my parent's dealt with.  I also know that my mother is not innocent in the marriage going wrong. (Daddy replacement seems to be under the illusion that mother did nothing wrong.)  It takes two people to begin a marriage. It also takes two people to end a marriage. Instead of fighting for this commitment they had made to eachother they both gave up. They quit trying just because it was hard.  My mother put the blame on my father. My father admitted to what mom accused him of and said he never really loved my mom. There is nothing right about that. My parent's divorce went against everything that I was raised by my parents to believe and I can not accept that." 
    He said that what happend between my parents was between my parents it is not anyone else's business. What happend was not my business.
  I said " I very much disagree. My parent's are now walking in sin and it is the responsibility of believers around them  to confront them about their sin. Not tolerate it"
  It was at this moment that one of my siblings decided to interrupt the conversation and I told him I needed to leave anyway. Before I left he hugged me (which he had done before, a side hug, but this time it felt different) the whole interaction left me feeling alarmed. I do not yet know what exactly I picked up ( or maybe I do...) but I do know that this man is not one who has a relationship with Christ.  I also know that I need to be praying harder for God to intervene somehow.
  There was more to the conversation but I do not remember exactly what was said or how I responded. I am concerned for my parents I am concerned for my siblings.   Changes need to happen... Guess I better get started on that praying thing.
 
                                                          Thae